Buy a sailboat, then sail over the horizon, right? Oh if it was that simple! Often you zigzag, and sometimes you backtrack.

In our last episode, we made it to the Florida Keys. But before pressing on any further, we had some big projects to take care of — including applying new antifouling paint to the bottom of our boat. The closest yard with a spot for us was 150 miles back in the direction we just came. Time to turn the ship around.

Hope you enjoy!

Lauren & Kirk

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@1:07 “Butterflies” by The Village Squares

Theme song: ”Adventures” by A Himitsu —

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Start Your Morning with some Sailing Inspiration

Episode Dialogue

That took all of about 20 seconds to get our first fish.

We are modeling today, believe it or not.

What, are you getting an agent now?


We’re taking the boat out for the first time in almost a month. We came to Stock Island, which is right next to Key West and we left the boat for two weeks, when we were headed to Utah, for a work trip. Now we’re gonna be leaving in three days, from this marina, and headed back to Port Charlotte, to put the boat on the harbor. It was time to pull the boat out and tackle a few big projects. More on that in a bit. And we’ve got a couple days here, that we’ve finally managed to carve out, to go jump in the water and hopefully snorkel and maybe see a couple fish. It’s sunny, gorgeous, hot, and unfortunately there hardly is a knot of wind, so we’ll probably be motoring to wherever we drop anchor. Fun day.

♪ Seven AM, I had to call just to say I love you ♪ ♪ You were in my dreams again ♪ ♪ I’m always thinking ’bout you ♪ ♪ Is it hard to be alone ♪ ♪ Do you miss me all the time ♪

What’d you settle on?

I don’t know.

Kirk’s trying to find some bait.

Corn, hot dog, peanut butter sandwiches, soap, gum balls, raisins, I don’t know man. I feel like we could try raisins, ’cause I’d be willing to give those up. That dude that was next to us, that went to the Bahamas, said that his buddy told him, wooden plugs, soaked in WD-40.

I think someone’s pulling your leg.

[Kirk] I’ve heard about this working fantastically but if anyone has any other tips for rigging a hand line while under sail, I’d love to hear them in the comments. One, two, three, jump.

Apparently I forgot to close my mouth when I jumped in.

[Kirk] Jeez. You’re making this really sexy.

I know.

So those big projects we mentioned, this was one of them, a bottom job. Below the water line hadn’t been touched since we left the fresh water of lake Michigan, and it definitely needed it.

[Kirk] What’d you just see?

You saw a sea turtle.

[Kirk] I saw a sea turtle, yeah. And you scared him.

Oh, I saw him dive.

[Kirk] Yeah he’s gone. How are you?

I’m good, I’m cleaning the bottom, or at least the sides. What I can reach, without going under. Because my lungs are kind of wussy right now and in an attempt to clean as much of the boat as I could, I decided to stay above water.

[Kirk] Hi there.


[Kirk] Look how beautiful it is.

Stuck out in the marina.

[Lauren] So many hours spent there, love.

[Kirk] Yeah.

I don’t know, someone’s on the radio and it sounds like they’re underground or their boat is sinking.

We can only hear the Coast Guard’s side of this conversation, because the other guy’s radio isn’t very powerful, just like ours. The Coast Guard was asking if they had life jackets and if the had enough food and water, and if there were kids on board, and it sounded dire but I guess maybe that’s just the usual questions they ask. Hopefully they’re okay.

Meanwhile, we have a powerless auto-pilot going reasonably well.

We are 20 miles from Key West. And we’re headed to Cayo Costa which is about 150 miles from Key West, as long as I can keep us on our tack. I’m in a dress and I’m not cold. That’s pretty awesome. Kirk’s about to make me some dinner.

[Kirk] Is that so?

[Kirk] Pretty sweet bimini top we got there.

[Lauren] It’s not bad. Yes, our sarong bimini was pretty sweet given the alternative of no shade what so ever. This was going to be big project number two, after we hauled out, build a real bimini.

[Kirk] To make it to Cayo Costa meant arriving after dark, so we called an audible, and after 120 miles, we turned into Fort Myers beach.

[Lauren] Holy hell, oh wait, what is that thing though?

[Kirk] It might be a Catfish.

[Lauren] Did you put the whole shrimp on there?

[Kirk] No, I put one.

[Lauren] Oh, really.

[Kirk] What are you? You’re a catfish. Shit, they have the spiny guards.

Oh no.

That took all of about 20 seconds to get our first fish. I’m just gonna put him in the center of the cockpit, ’cause I think he’s kind of spiky.

[Lauren] Kirk was right, this was a salt water catfish.

You see his dorsal fin, I think that’s a big old spike.

[Lauren] Specifically, a Gafftopsail Catfish, or Sail Cat, notorious for going after anything on a hook. What are you gonna do?

It’s not really hooked in there very well, so I’m just gonna see if I can get it off this way.

[Lauren] Do you want me to hold the line while you grab the back of the fish?

Oh shit, this was a bad idea. Sorry buddy. He’s fine.

[Lauren] Did he swim away?


[Lauren] Eww, what is all that?

That’s all his slime.

[Lauren] In addition to their poisonous, spiny barbs they excrete an extremely slippery, toxic slime when caught.

We’re learning.

[Lauren] I don’t know if we’re cut out for this whole fishing thing.

How do I get all this slime off of me?

So, we’re hanging out here at Cabbage Key, just north of Fort Meyers, where we left the boat for a couple of days, and we’re doing a Hobbie shoot, with our buddies over at Hobbie.

[Lauren] When we lived in San Diego, we became friends with a few people who worked at Hobbie, including the staff photographer. When two of their models dropped out last minute, he asked if we could fill in. We are modeling today, believe it or not. So we’re driving kayaks around. This afternoon, we’re gonna get up on stand-up paddle boards. We’re not doing anything today. We’re literally sitting and eating.

Drink Le Croix.

Yeah, and we were out on the water for like 40 minutes and now we’ve had nothing to do for the last 2 hours, and we’re gonna have nothing to do for another hour and a half.

And by we Lauren means she is not doing anything today, ’cause I just spent an hour and a half on a conference call, now I’m gonna go edit sound.

Okay, I’m not doing anything. I’m just hanging out with my new gal pal Naomi, and you know, living up the model life. It’s ridiculous.

Are you ready sir Kirk?

[Kirk] I would like to go paddle boarding now James. Or kayaking. You have a life jacket on, that’s good, ’cause I’m gonna flip you over.


Today is day two of

Trying to look suave. Basically trying not to look like giant goobers who just came off of a boat.

Which is totally what we are. But, we’re having a blast, it’s been fun. It’s been a nice diversion from the boat. I think we should probably head over there.

That is wild. You wanna touch him?

[Kirk] I touched him, yeah.

Oh, he’s scared. He’s squeezing all the water out.

[Kirk] He’s squeezing in tighter and tighter.

All right, I’ll put you back. There you go.

[Kirk] Give me the, “I’m proud of my kids,” look.

I learned all of these looks, from the real model, Naomi, over there, who was hired from an actual agency, not just because we were friends of the company, like we are. But she has these looks that she does, for all of her commercial lifestyle shoots. And there’s like four main ones. One of them is I’m proud of my kids and it’s like. Something like that.

[Kirk] That’s pretty good.

There’s inner determination, when you’re overcoming an obstacle and you resolve. To be all that you can be. So basically, like a mom getting over allergies, to take care of her kids. I have to do it with handle bars.

[Kirk] Oh, okay.

Because I’m on the with allergies.

[Kirk] And sneeze.

Oh okay, there’s over the shoulder laughing at your friend.

[Kirk] So, are you gonna sign up? Are you getting an agent now?

Hell no. Did you see the interview I tried to do with Nicole last night. I froze up like a clam. If clams freeze.

[Kirk] They do.

I’m totally fine talking to your iPhone, and then as soon as the videographer says, “Okay, can you say this for me?” I’m like.

[Kirk] Repeat after me, word for word.

Yeah, and I can’t do it, word for word.

[Kirk] Oh wow, he’s huge. Hey dude! He’s right under you. He’s just hanging out.

Oh what’s up buddy?

[Kirk] Hi!

Oh my god, can see us? What’s going through his head right now? What is he thinking right now? Hi! Yeah, come on over.

[Kirk] We haven’t touched him, no. He’s got hit by a boat. See him?

[Kirk] I am not your mother. I’m sorry. Aww, he’s rolling again.

♪ Because I’m happy ♪ ♪ Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof ♪ ♪ Because I’m happy ♪ ♪ Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth ♪